I felt everyone tiptoeing around me. I had just come back from leave after suddenly losing my father to pancreatic cancer. Nobody dared to ask me how I was doing, and I didn't want them to. Everyone, including me, wanted to pretend it was business as usual. But it wasn't.
My whole world had been turned upside down. Every day, I put on a face and went into work, pretending everything was ok - when finding the energy to climb out of bed and face the world felt like catching water with a colander.
The struggle I felt on a minute to minute basis came out at work - I made bad decisions, became unfocused, and lashed out at coworkers. Suppressing the pain made it worse.
In an earlier post we discussed sitting with someone in their discomfort. Grief is one of the most uncomfortable emotions we can feel and experience in another - especially at work. No one wants to say the wrong thing, or unleash a mountain of emotions, so we brush it under the rug.
What I needed in the moment was time and empathy.
Everyone is grieving something at all times - whether it be over a person, relationship, a lost opportunity, or piece of constructive feedback. As a coach, it's our job to create a safe space to let others grieve - and when they're ready- and ONLY when they're ready - co-create a pathway out.
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